Eating Swamp Grass and Petting Crabs
The moment I got on the boat in Crisfield, Maryland, I thought I was going to a “normal” retreat. I thought I would get to know the other county Teachers of the Year, relax a bit, learn about the environment and then go home. While I got the chance to do the aforementioned fun things, I didn’t realize that I would also face and conquer fears as well as make lifelong friends.
One of my biggest fears is deep water. While I love the beach…from the sand…deep water always filled me with fear. Growing up in a small town means that I never had access to water deeper than my ankles. The result is that I never learned to swim but developed a healthy fear of all deep water.
This trip forced me to face this fear in many different ways. Smith Island only has one way to get to it… by boat. At the dock, I had a choice. I could either give in to my fear and go home. Or I could face my fear and experience something lovely. With my heart slamming hard in my chest, I boarded the boat for sheer force of will. As we left the dock, I had to talk myself out of being afraid.
A funny thing happens on the other side of fear…you find beauty. Once I stopped focusing on the thing that I was afraid of, I truly began to find the beauty in it all. I found the gentle beauty in the uncertain laughter of my fellow teachers as they shook off the barriers of the unknown on the journey to become friends. I found shocking beauty of the cold water as it sprayed us as the boat bounced along the waves. I found the rhythmic beauty of the movements of Captain Jesse and the boat crew as they worked together in a well choreographed dance. I found the beauty in the melodic interplay between the bird calls and the hum of the boat engines. I found the tranquil beauty in the warmth of the sun on my face and the wind at my back.
Armed with the beauty of the moment, I decided to embrace new things. I threw crab pots in the bay and petted a Maryland Blue Crab. I even went on a walk through a marshy swamp and sang to a snail to coax it out of it’s shell. I even tasted swamp grass and held a real Terrapin. And with every adventure, I chose beauty instead of fear. And as I embraced the beauty of each moment, I grew stronger, laughed harder, and learned more about myself than I ever thought was possible.
As I drove away, I was proud of the journey that I embarked upon the moment I decided to embrace beauty instead of fear.